How To Instantly Make Any Relationship Better
Have you ever found yourself wondering, "I say, 'I love you,' every day. Why doesn't he get it?" Or how about this, "I give her presents all the time. Why isn't that enough?"
If you're not speaking their love language, your message probably isn't getting across. It's like if someone walked up to me and started speaking German...their message, however sincere, would be completely lost upon me.
That's why it's so important to know the love languages of people we're in significant relationship with, whether it's romantic, family, or close friendships. (And if you haven't heard about love languages, scroll to the bottom of this article where you can learn more at Dr. Gary Chapman's website).
How Do I Know What Their Love Language Is?
Don't know what their love language is or how to figure it out? Well, you're in the right place! Here's a quick, one question love languages quiz to help you decipher their love languages and, more importantly, love them in a way that speaks to them.
Love Languages Quiz
This love languages quiz is a great starting point (and super helpful if you're in a hurry). But, I do recommend diving deeper. When you have time, check out the additional resources at the end of this post.
Bonus Tips for Gifts That Speak Their Language
Ever feel overwhelmed in completely in the dark when it comes to giving gifts they'll love? Don't miss the gift ideas in each section, perfectly suited to their unique love languages.
Pssst...we've got a gift idea at the end the covers all 5 love languages if you're stumped as to what the recipient's primary love language is!
Answer this question to determine their love language:
Think about your significant other, close friend, or family member. Then click on the answer that most fits.
What puts them in the best mood? When do they seem happiest and most content? (Click one)
3. When I give them a little gift, "just because"
4. When we spend time together, just the two of us
5. When I give them a hug
Love Language 1: Words of Affirmation
Words matter most to the people in this love languages category. For those who receive love through words of affirmation, a simple text message, spoken words from the heart, or a handwritten notecard go a long way.
Keys To A Winning Gift: Focus on gifts that allow you to express heartfelt sentiments in writing. Creativity is important to this group, so incorporate special, original details.
Gratitude journal: This gives a word-focused individual the chance to record their thoughts and emotions in a way that resonates with them.
Fill out the first few pages of this journal with things about them that make you grateful.
Include a bookmark that features a quote or word that reminds you of them (and tell them why!)
Leave a pathway of notes cards that lead to the gift, with each one expressing a quality you love about them, such as their courage, kindness, faithfulness, playfulness, etc
Love Language 2: Acts of Service
Tangible acts of service mean the most to those in this love languages group. Doing the dishes, running errands, or taking care of the kids will speak volumes of your love for them!
Pair a gift card for a chore they normally do with an acitivity they'd rather be doing.
Try these pairings:
House Cleaning Service + Gift Certificate To A Local Spa = Your wife gets to unwind while the pros are busy scrubbing the house from top to bottom
A Handmade Gift Certificate For One Night of Babysitting + A Gift Card To Her Favorite Shop = Your bestie gets to enjoy guilt-free shopping while you watch her kids
Gift Certificate for a car wash + coffee gift card + magazine subscription (digital or print) = your hubbie can enjoy his favorite coffee and magazine as the pros clean his car
One month of gardening services + game-time snacks = Your sweetie can enjoy the big game with awesome snacks, instead of mowing the lawn and pruning the rose bushes
Love Language 3: Receiving Gifts
Receiving a special gift helps this love languages group know just how much you love them. Gifts that are suited just for them, like a bouquet of not just any flowers but their favorite flowers, make the biggest impact.
This one may seem like a piece of cake, but it's not. The gift needs to be specific to that person. Something that only they would love. It’s about communicating that you were thinking of them specifically. For this group, personalization matters (read: a generic teddy bear with generic chocolates won’t cut it... but if you get a panda & chocolates from France & say I know your favorite animal is a panda & that you’re aching to go to France, that’s more like it). the key is for them to know that you were thinking about them
Focus on a unique detail about them...for example, does she pour her time and energy into helping others? Does she need some time to relax and put her feet up? A gift set full of spa essentials or a new book you know she'll love with artisan coffee and an inspiring coffee mug will make her day!
Incorporate more personal details with gift wrap. Use her favorite color. If she loves being eco-friendly, wrap her gift in a reusable tote that she can take to the farmers market.
Give them gifts for no special reason, other than that you love them! Little tokens of affection throughout the year, and not just on major holidays, speak volumes to this love languages group!
Love Language 4: Quality Time
Your full and undivided attention is what people in this love languages group crave. Knowing that you value them enough to put away your phone and focus on them does a world of good in helping them feel loved.
Gift that creates a time for you two to spend quality time together, where you give them your undivided attention.
Athletic sneakers with a note that says, “I’d love to go on more walks with you.”
Gift card to your favorite restaurant, a cozy beach blanket, a telescope for stargazing...any accessory or tool for an activity that draws you two into meaningful conversations or to experience something special together.
Love language 5: Physical touch
For people in this love languages group, appropriate gestures like hugs, make them feel loved more than words, gifts or any of the other love language types.
A cozy blanket so you can curl up for a sweet movie night at home.
Sensory focused gifts, like lavender scented bath salts and candles.
Luxurious textures, like super-soft cashmere and cozy fleece.
Ready to gift by Love Language?SHOP NOW
Find gifts that speak their language in our Online Gift Shop.
And, if you still have no idea what their love language is, here's a gift that covers all 5 love languages!
Instructions: Select 1 item from each category above to create the ultimate Love Language gift set.
Here's an example of what that could look like...
For a woman who loves the ocean, here's a gift idea for her ultimate Love Language gift:
A beautiful picnic basket, tied with an ocean-blue ribbon and seashell pendant + a cozy beach blanket + gift card to her favorite local restaurant + a sincere note about why you appreciate her + the time and place already booked in the calendar for you two to enjoy a sunset picnic on the beach
Why this works:
Receiving Gifts: Each detail of the gift wrap assures the woman that this gift is meant just for her.
Physical Touch: The beach blanket is perfect for cozying up when it gets cold.
Quality Time: You've created a dedicated time and space for the two of you to connect (make sure you put your phones away!)
Acts of Service: Because you've planned the entire evening, and you've taken care of the cooking (through the restaurant gift card), there's no work for her to do. She can simply enjoy!
Words of Affirmation: Your heartfelt card will remind her why you love her.
Want to learn more about love languages?
"Love is a choice you make every day." - Dr. Gary Chapman
To get his book or for more in depth love languages quizzes, check out Dr. Gary Chapman's website here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/